Archive for September, 2011

Posted: September 28, 2011 in animals

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Even Giselle called me up to tell me how incredibly pissed off she is with reference to the actions of said StumbleyUpon…. She was thoroughly disgusted… Threatened never to quarterback for the New England Patriots AGAIN… Damn Woman, you can’t be doin’ that!!!… You’re going after the single season yardage record!!!…

Posted: September 28, 2011 in animals

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Well, no, now that you mention it, I’m not fit to marry…. I’m fit to be tied over StumbleUpon’s Stupidity Beyond Comprehension… I’m fit as a fiddle… I’m fit to be tied over StumbleUpon’s Ignorance and Greed and Self-Righteousness and Pettiness and “Breaking-Our-Hearts-itis”… But, No, I’m Not Fit to be Married… Or is is StumbleUpon that’s not fit to be in existence???… Well, now that I think on it, I think the latter is the Truth… So bring on the Potential Brides… I Do Be Fit to be Married after All!!!!….

Posted: September 27, 2011 in animals

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One of my best friends, Zhukina Jankowski, is very, very, very upset with the bad, bad, bad people (if they ARE “people”—oh, that’s right, corporations are people,too!) at StumbleUpon… Just a few hours ago, over a Choco-tini at Barb & Marv’s NeverInn Tavern and Bakery over on Positively 4th Street, Zhuky was ranting on and on about how these Greedy Scuzzbags (I had to ask her to define who these Greedy Scuzzbags were because there are SO frickin’ many of them around these days….You see them in Debates, at Town Halls, sitting at desks in Congressional Chambers, appearing on FauxNoise and FauxBusinessNoise and ZZZZZ-NBC Business… You see them running lots of States these days (running them into the economic and moral GROUND, that is) or running BIGGER THAN BIG PIGGY financial institutions (sometimes running what you once thought were your friendly-kindly-and-giving local banks—you didn’t know THEY were pigs until they started oinking in unison with the Big Piggy Institutions that now owned them!!… You see them at work, at the mall, at the school board and village board and town board meetings, at the local watering holes that you used to be able to go to and have a decent conversation without being attacked for not hating the poor-the sick-the disabled-the oldsters-and even the kids of the poorsickdisabledoldster crowd and not believing that climate change–which just melted the glacier in your backyard–is a HOAX or that humans roamed with the dinosaurs just 7000 years ago or that allowing someone who is drugged-beaten-and-raped by her Daddy to have an abortion or even given a morning-after pill is a morally and socially bankrupt act… You see them everywhere you go these days… They weren’t always there, but THEY’RE THERE NOW!!)… And now, after some of my great Stumble Friends and great Stumble Posters have worked for years to develop a spectacular online community of Sharing Interests and Thoughts Illuminated by or Expressed through Photos and “Words, it turns out that the Powers that Be of this Online Community ARE TOTAL FREAKIN’ GREEDY SCUZZBAGS, TOO!! Well, it’s just too, too much to take!! And, my dear Quiz, we know that Greedy Scuzzbags dont’ destroy the object of their own efforts and creativity for nothing!! The Greedy Scuzzbags destroy it so they can make more money, money, money, someplace else—it’s a damn CONSPIRACY, my Quiz, a damn CONSPIRACY!! And some of our Stumble Friends have posited just that…A Freakin’ Conspiratorial Bunch of Greedy Scuzzbags conspiring with another group of Greedy Scuzzbags who are involved in the same online “community sharing” activity—or WORSE!!—to make mucho dollar-o out of Squish-Squashing the Community of StumbleUpon to create a monster (kind of like the monstrous Wally-Marty) that will compete with the other Monsters (kind of like the Facebook-y)… Oh, I don’t know dear Quiz, I don’t know what to think… All I know is that once a Scuzzbag always a Scuzzbag… So now that they’ve morphed into to Scuzzdom Scuzzes, THEY BE DOOMED TO ETERNAL SCUZZBAGGY-HOOD!!”… And with that we ordered a couple of gallons of Choco-tini to take home and vowed to fight until the Bitterest of Bitter Ends of What was Once called Camelot!!…

Posted: September 25, 2011 in animals

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I think it’s time for all of us to DRINK HEAVILY… Be it beer, be it bottled water filled by the French from their taps, be it whiskey, be it wine… Let’s all Hoist One for all those who have made this fun and creative and “beauty-finding” adventure in StumbleLand such a joy over these many years!! I’ve become a Visually Educated Being because of my wanderings here and will be forever (well, until I croak) grateful to all those who have put in so much creative and loving effort into finding the most brilliant and interesting images, many of them incredibly humorous or bizarre or both, many of them just plain gorgeous, many of them thought-provoking and emotionally moving… And all of them touched by the imagination and genius of each individual’s brain and each individual’s soul… Different brains and different souls indeed, but almost universally honest and heartfelt efforts to share a bit of one’s concept of beauty or nature or humor or significant thought… So HOIST ONE for the Stumblers and pray that all of us may find a way to migrate our images and thoughts to other sites where we may once again share our individuality with those who seek to know us, however slightly…

Posted: September 25, 2011 in animals

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And so, armed with two arms and the knowledge that StumblerBumblers know not what they do, I told all of my Stumbler friends to coagulate into one super-lovely-celebrity-like-fashionably-unconsciously-passion-person and to meet me down by the beach spot where the filmies had filmed the last 3 Gilligan’s Island episodes and the passionately-over-passionate rolling-in-the-surf-sand scene in “From Here to My Paternity”… And I met the Coagulated Queen of Stumblers there and…well…as you can see, we shared a final embrace, a gently-genial peck on the neck, a fondly fondling farewell… And then I, like the James Masons before me, Kris Kristoffersoned my way into the ocean, never to be Stumbled Upon again!!….

Posted: September 25, 2011 in animals

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So, confused as I art about why StumbleFarts are wrecking the Hesperus, I conducted me a bit of a seance with my girlfriend Megatroid and my buddies Ricardo and Ronnie… And we seanced my favoritest, the Marilyn of the Monroes, and, once she did appear, we all asked her in some sort of unison: “Why, dear Marilyn, why, please tell us why??”… Miz Ghosty Monroe hesitationed just a bit so as to have some timeliness to talk it over with Artie Miller and Joe DiMagginationo and then spake thusly: “Ya know, sometimes, like I trusted those Kennedy boys, ya just gotta trust the ones in charge that they’re not out to screw ya!!”…

Posted: September 25, 2011 in animals

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I asked my multi-faceted Faceface pal Megan to think and think about why the StumblerFumblers are sinking the Satanic… I mean being Satanic in sinking the Titanic… Well, if Stumble was ship and the StumblerF’s were Icebergian Ilk… But Megan is of so many faceted faces that she, the Meggers, could just not grasp the unreasoned reasoning of the StumblerFumblers either… In factoid, she thought and thought so mucho mucho about my query that she became even more and more multi-faced and multi-faceted and multiplied her face right out of symmetrical reality!! Thanks alot StumbleUpon Tsars and Cigareenas!!….