Archive for August, 2008

“Autumn Cocktail” by Georgy Kurasov…..Yes, it is getting very close to autumn cocktail time here in Wisconsin….We generally do not dress quite as elegantly as these folks….Nor do we drink the elegant drinks that these folks are drinking…But if the end result is being blotto’d with face pressed against the hardwood floor, it really doesn’t matter if your these folks or Wisconsin folks, now does it?….Oh, I just hate myself when I trash elegant paintings of elegant couples….I so want to be like them….or at least be able to drink their expensive & exotic drinks on a regular basis….Is that asking too much???…Cuz I’m really getting sick of these local cocktail parties with Budweiser and Cranberry cocktails as the only offering!!

Autumn Whitehurst Illustration

Posted: August 30, 2008 in animals

Another in that same Autumn Whitehurst series of illustrations….”It’s Your Party”….Doesn’t she “the illustration” look a lot like Nicole Kidman?…Perhaps that’s who it’s supposed to be?…I know if I had a billion dollars to spare, I’d hop right on over to Monaco to let Nicole convince me, in the most imaginative ways possible, that Yes, Monaco IS my Party!!….and I’ll do what I want!!

Posted: August 30, 2008 in animals

Another blind date, another huge disappointment for yours truly, Quizzler….My fifth best female friend from 7th Grade, Natalyana, tells me that her third (or fourth?….N. couldn’t remember) cousin is coming to town for our local “Caramel Apples with Peanuts or Sprinkles, Your Choice, Festival…N. informs me that Spaskylana (lot of “lana’s in this family I take it!) has been divorced from her third husband, Rox, for quite some time, is woefully lonely, and is looking for someone to escort her around the “Caramel Apple Festival”….Being the nice guy that most certainly am (and having seen the photo of her, below), I quickly (well, even rapidly!) volunteered for duty….So I pick S. up at N.’s last night and she’s every bit as pretty (well, that’s a bit lame…how about “sizzlin'”) as her photo and even dressed in that same dress and even wearing no shoes, per the photo…So off we go…She’s pleasant enough, but obviously no “Einstein-ess” (or at least a couple of blocks further away from Einstein than I am)….She’s from Brooklyn (born & raised), but for some reason keeps saying crap like “In my country, we know nothing of caramel apples!” or “In my country, we know nothing of caramel!” or….well, it was just a litany-of-all litanies prefaced with “In my country, we know nothing……”…..Everytime I’d raise a topic of conversation, it was another “In my country, we no nothing” of this conversational topic….After 3 or 4 JUMBO caramel apples (two nuts, two sprinkles), which was just her share (I’m allergic to nuts and can’t fathom why any human being would want sprinkles on anything), she starts with the major tongue-cleaning, fingernail scraping of her teeth to rid herself of all traces of the insidious mouth caramel (going at it as if it was a fast spreading mouth disease that would only stop spreading after she’d wiped every trace of it from her pretty pearly whites)….Well, this went on for what seemed like an hour or more….Me just sittin’ there staring as she worked her mouth over like a cheap….well, you know….Then I just took her back to N.’s, with her still mouthing off about “In my country, we do not HAVE foods that stick in your teeths,” etc., etc…..I’ll tell you, no matter HOW great lookin’ a woman might be, even males have limits on how lunacy one can take (the lusting stops about the second or third thorough “cleaning of the mouth of caramel”)….N. told me that S. told her that I was a good guy and most attractive by the standards in her country (Brooklyn?), but I did not seem very interested in learning about the customs in her country, being particularly peeved about my failure to respond favorably (at least as she saw it) to her country’s time-honored practice of the “cleaning of the teeth”…..Guess I’m just not her type…thank God!

From one of my fav-o-rite master painters of all-time…”The Musicians” by Caravaggio…ca. 1595…oil on canvas…According to the Good Book, this picture “was painted for his first great patron, Cardinal Francesco del Monte. Although it was described by contemporaries as simply “una musica” (a music piece), it is an allegory of music. Cupid, “who is always in the company of music” (Vasari), is shown at left with a bunch of grapes, “because music was invented to keep spirits happy, as does wine” (Ripa). The costumes have a vaguely classical look. The surface of the picture is worn and there are extensive losses in the back of the right-hand figure and in the still life of music and violin. The upturned page of music is a reconstruction based on an old copy of the picture”….Don’t you love it when art historians tell you what’s really going on in these famous paintings…Even if they’re wrong, they certainly sound convincing to me!!…And I’ll just bet (anybody got a quarter?) that they’re hardly never-ever wrong….Of course, I could be wrong!!…Thanks to my old friend tindink for this!

Posted: August 28, 2008 in animals

“The Spirit of Our Time”….by Raoul Hsusmann….Dada…1919….This could be called “The Spirit of Our Time 2008″….I see plenty of people, the younger and the older, with all kinds of equipment/devices on their heads, in their ears, on their bodies….all in the name of keeping others out and creating their own personal universe….perhaps the reality has become so frightening, so overwhelming, that they sense that there is no other way to keep them from going mad….Of course there ARE, but many have become too lazy of mind, too self-centered of interest, to take the energy it takes to find a way to healthily confront the reality….It may not be as bad as they fear!!

Color me NOT a wino!…But I do enjoy a sizable wine glass filled halfway with good to slightly better wine now & then (“now & then” being defined as 3 or 4 nights a week, except during times of clinical depression…..Just Jokin’!!)….Since I am lean of budget these days (with “leaner of budget” times fast approaching, thanks to all of the debacles that have been debach-ling most of us these past several years…and onward into the UNKNOWN FUTURE!!), I tend to go with the 1.5 litre bottles of relatively decent stuff from the cheapest liquor store in the area, Grenadine & Gerard’s Wine Hutlet over on Watts Riot Road (well, it’s really just “Watts Road,” but how funny is that??)….I read somewhere that the best-selling cheapo to moderately cheapo wines all have animals on them so I’ve been buying a lot of animal wines (the kangaroos, the penguins, the Portugese peter pet, etc.)….Also read that some of the better moderately-priced decent wines have names that refer to body parts so I’ve been buying a lot of wines with the words “foot” and “lips” and “hair” buried in their names (sometimes in anagrams, sometimes in Honey Grahams)….So I have these all in the coolest corner of my mini-basement (the corner where I have all of my Miles Davis albums) because I read somewhere (think in a Vogue for Men mag at my dentist’s, Dr. Bliinderheister’s, office??) that that’s a good thing no matter how cheap & tasteless your wine is….My wine is never tasteless so I haven’t been able to fully test out that theory….usually tastes at least like an old cork or some well-aged red vinegarette!!

So my ex-brother-in-law, Dookasey (“The Dukester”)…his son, Larry (“The Lukester”) tells his girlfriend Alexandria that “I LIKE FRENCH COOKING”…..She, being deaf of ear and slight of brain (so they say…although they that say are even slighter of brain…so “grain of salt” time), thinks that he says “I LIKE FRENCH HOOKING”….So next time he goes to visit her (in her roomette above the hotel in Shiocton), he waltzes in the open door and finds her dressed and presented thusly….the 1920-ish French Bordello look, done to a T!!….Result: The Lukester finds that he DOES love French Hooking more than French Cooking!!…Men!!